Eric: "Sir Lord Sugar. All I'm asking for is some of your money to support my webcomic!"
Eric: "It doesn't have to be much. Just a couple of million. That's loose change to you."
Lord Sugar: "No! It's rubbish! I didn't get where I am today by investing in any old rubbish!"
Eric thinks: "Oh pull the other one! I was a Spurs fan in the 90s so don't give me that! Plus I owned an Amstrad CPC 464. Not exactly a Commodore 64 was it?"
Eric: "What about a Retweet instead?"
Lord Sugar: "You're f.... Look Eric, I'm sorry but I can't do this. This gag is too predictable."
Lord Sugar: "As usual you're about 5 years too late. Every Tom, Dick and Harry's already done a You're Fired bit! I'm sick of it!"
Lord Sugar: "Go do something useful. Like get on Piers Morgan's nerves. You can do a gag about his chat show being cancelled. I guess that counts as topical in your sad, little world."