Eric

Eric: "I feel so sad and empty. It's as if there's a hole in me that can't be filled."

Advert: "New Pie phone: HD screen, 8 core processor, 120mpx camera. So kool it will fill your hole!!!"

Eric: "Hurry up and take my money!"

Eric experiences a brief moment of satisfaction.

Advert: "Pie phone not kool. Mega HD screen, 9 core processor, 121mpx camera. Pie phone 2, the only way to fill your new hole."

Eric: "Sigh."

Eric: "Why oh why can't women turn off the lights?"

Eric: "The lightswitch is a simple invention. It only has 2 possible positions - on and off." 

Eric: "Why is it so hot in here?"

Erica: "I put the heating on."

Eric: "It's like an oven. Couldn't you just put a jumper on?"

Erica: "That's a stupid idea."

TV: "Global warming is bad for us all."

Erica: "Do you think there's anything I could do to help tackle global warming?"

Eric: "Sigh."

Eric: "Honestly, I haven't run out of ideas. I just needed some quick Facebook likes."G

Droopy: "Whatever Dude. You're still going to hell."

Eric: "Good Grie - I mean, Sigh!"

TV: "Serious Wedgie epidemic sweeps the nation."

Eric: "That's terrible! I need to do something."

Erica: "Why not do a sponsored bungee jump to raise awareness?"

Eric: "Oh Sh#t!"

Eric: "Arrgh sigh!"

Shirley: "I'd like to nominate Eric for the ALS ice bucket challenge."

Eric: "Right that's the water."

Eric: "Now for the ice."

Eric: "I'd like to nominate David Beckham, Peter Andre and Patay Palmer."

Eric: "What's the matter Erica?"

Erica: "My bunny rabbit is missing! I'm worried he's joined IS as well."

Bunny: "I have not joined IS! I do not support any violent terrorist organization, including the US and UK Governments."

Erica: "Eric! You've got a problem!"

Droopy: "Dude, it's the doughnuts. You're an addict!"

Droopy: " You eat them when you're sad."

Erica: "You eat them when you've been good."

Droopy: "You eat them when you've had a hard day."

Eric: "I haven't got a problem."

Eric: "Dough! I mean, Sigh!"

Eric: "I'm going to become a Superhero."

Erica: "This is going to end in a sigh isn't it?"

Eric: "Look! A cat stuck up a tree! This looks like a job for Super Eric!"

Erica thinks: "I'll ring the Fire Brigade."

Two hours later, after finally finding a phone box in this day and age....

Erica: "Sigh!

Droopy: "Dude. Are you coming out Trick or Treating with us?"

Eric: "Nope."

Eric: "I'm Trick or Tweeting instead. Follow me @Eric310776 or at www.cupalongstoryshort.blogspot.co.uk "

Sammy Spider: "Lame!"

Darth Alien Alan: "Eric. I am your Father."

Eric: "That gag is about as stale as a fart in a Darth Vader suit."

Eric: "I'm going to become a great artist."

John Lennon: "Imagine all the people."

Droopy: "John Lennon once said 'A great artist borrows but a great artist steals."

Eric: "So what's the deal with toilets on airplanes then?"

Noodles Pot: "Oh that reminds me of that Lee Evans joke! Ha,ha,ha!"

Erica: "Ha,ha,ha I love Lee Evans. He's the best!"

Eric: "Fine! Just f*cking go watch Lee Evans instead!"

Noodles Pot: "He's a bit touchy isn't he?"

Erica: "Yeah I know! It's not as if we're Waldorf and Statler or anything!"